20 Hilarious Things Our Kids Have Said because We All Need a Laugh
Amidst the current chaos around us, there is one thing that remains true––kids will keep us laughing. Whether it’s stilly antics, picky eaters or sibling rivalry, there are plenty of ways the littles are giving us the giggles. If you need a well-earned break, sit back and scroll through some smile-inducing tweets!
1. Future hairdresser! My 4yo cut her own hair during craft time at school yesterday, and I’m trying to decide if I should take her Leap Pad away as punishment or if I should ask her to cut me a side bang, too bc honestly it’s kind of cute.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 11, 2020
2. It’s never rude to be polite. I may have over-done teaching politeness to my sons. My 4yo just said, “Oh thank you,” to the automatic soap dispenser.
— Kerry (@whatbabytalk) March 11, 2020
3. Touché. Me: Did you practice your sight words?
Me: You have to learn them sometime.
5: Not if I'm a dog.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 11, 2020
4. My child, late getting ready for school:
(crying hysterically) HOW DOES A SOCK EVEN WORK?
My child, one hour past bedtime:
Daddy, how might one reconcile relativity theory with quantum physics?
— Micah (@ParentalGrit) March 10, 2020
5. I mean… My 2yo was throwing cheerios on the floor for our dog, and I told her we don't have a dog then my 4yo ran in and ate all the cheerios off the floor.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) March 6, 2020
6. We feel seen. My toddler shouted “I NEED A BREAK FROM ALL OF YOU” and then locked himself in his bedroom. When we asked what happened he replied “nothing I’m just being daddy”
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) March 31, 2020
7. She did. I caught my 3yo wearing 3 pairs of socks.
I didn’t dare confront her.
She had her reasons.
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) March 12, 2020
8. Nope. Kid: Do I detect a hint of lime?
Me: *proud* Yes you do!
Kid: I don’t like it.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) March 12, 2020
9. And here we go. 3: I want pizza for dinner
Me: are you sure?
3: yeah I want pizza!
Me: ok, but last time you asked for pizza, I made it for you and you didn’t want it
3: I want it! I want it!
Me: okay, fine
3: yayyyyy pizza!
Me: *makes & serves the pizza*
3: I don’t want pizza
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) March 10, 2020
10. Just saying. My kids are fighting over pushing an imaginary witch button if you’re curious how my day is going.
— Mama (@mamallamapuff) April 1, 2020
11. All are welcome. Hello welcome to my “I gave the child a snack so she would stay quiet and let me make dinner and now she won’t eat her dinner” support group.
— Rainbow Kingdom (@aissalanis) April 1, 2020
12. So.Many.Questions. me: watch Star wars with me
10: why's he breathing like that?
5: what is he so hairy for? What is that?
7: is he a good guy or bad guy?
10: why is he wearing black?
7: that guy sounds annoying
10: is he alive still?
me: I regret everything.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) April 2, 2020
13. Whoa. Me: careful you'll burn yourself!
2: *taking a bite – crying* too hot!!!
M: I told you so, mommy knows best
2: *looking me dead in the eye, fork full of hot mac 'n cheese* mommy do not know best!
*puts fork in mouth* – doesn't flinch
– this kid is gonna rule the world
— Not Another Pinterest Mom (@snarkymomtobe) April 2, 2020
14. Silver lining! 7 is whining that he has to brush his teeth and wishes he has a robot to do everything for him and I got sad thinking about how much harder life gets and then I smiled remembering I had hidden cake in the fridge to stress-eat
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 2, 2020
15. It sounds better that way. My 8 year old still says “hanitizer” instead of hand sanitizer and I’m not going to be the one to correct him.
— The Girl Who Came to Stay 6 Feet Away (@Mom_Overboard) April 1, 2020
16. ::sigh:: 3: I want to put stickers on the wall!
Me: no, not the wall but here’s a piece of paper
3: fiiiiine, I’ll put them on the door instead
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) April 1, 2020
17. At what age do you have to start keeping the art projects the babysitter sends home with your child
– asking for a friend
— Not Another Pinterest Mom (@snarkymomtobe) April 1, 2020
18. It’s amazing, really. I’m often amazed by the level of frustration someone who requires a sippy cup can provoke.
— Sparkles and Skid Marks (@SparklesNSkids) March 31, 2020
19. Because, of course. My daughter woke up at 6:06 today instead of her usual 6:00 because we let her stay up 5 hours past her bedtime last night.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 29, 2020
20. 4: Mommy, do I look like a taco?
(I pause, consider the question and remind myself I’m dealing with a highly irrational creature)
Me: Do you want to look like a taco?
Me: You look exactly like a taco.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) January 18, 2020
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